From the times of ancient Egypt and Rome, William the Conqueror and George Washington, all the way into the present day, humans have surveyed territories to measure and interpret, tax and research the land. We have ancient customs of traveling in groups, swatting landmarks with branches, in order to maintain a communal memory of our boundaries. No one, however, surveys better than the human body.
In The Body Keeps the Score, we learn that the body is a physical map of our psychological and emotional trauma. While the mind may repress a traumatic experience, the body never forgets. It keeps the score. Always.
We walk around with banged up bodies. We endure breakups and divorces, lost jobs and loved ones, and the scars remain. We navigate through a life of daily fender benders, and few of us are ever aware of the toll it takes. Unsurprisingly, experts found that childhood traumatic stress increases the likelihood of hospitalization with a diagnosed autoimmune disease decades into adulthood.
“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”
-The Body Keeps the Score (emphasis added)
ARE YOU KEEPING SCORE?
When I was in high school, my mom helped me buy a used car. Neither of us knew anything about cars, so we asked a mechanic to help with an expert opinion. After identifying a car that I liked, we asked the seller to bring the car to the mechanic’s shop. The moment the car rolled into the lot, without hesitation, the mechanic said: “That car’s been in an accident.”
To my untrained eye, I couldn’t find a single blemish. The car had a new paint job. There were no dents or obvious signs of collision. But the mechanic had seen hundreds of cars. Thousands of cars. He knew a lemon when he saw one.
Like the mechanic, we, too, can learn to spot our traumas through experience and repetition. Do you meditate? Do you keep a journal to express your inner voice and process your thoughts? Do you move your body, whether through walking or practicing yoga? These daily actions, among many others, can help you to better understand and connect with the world around (and within) you. To be sure, keeping score is a lifelong practice of self-awareness:
“As I often tell my students, the two most important phrases in therapy, as in yoga, are “Notice that” and “What happens next?” Once you start approaching your body with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts.”
-The Body Keeps the Score (emphasis added)
WE ONLY GET ONE
Suppose that you’re presented with your dream car. You can have any car you want, including this one. The catch? It will be the only car that you’ll ever have. How well would you maintain it? Warren Buffett uses this analogy to say that we only get one mind and one body. Treat them with care.
As I tell my students, tune in to your mind, body and breath. What are they saying? What do they need today? Without judgment or expectation, observe your headspace. Notice the energy that you bring into a room. And remember: always keep the score. Your body certainly will.